Wow

So, if anyone has not heard yet, I have matched in general surgery at the University of Texas Medical Branch, in Galveston, Texas. This was my #8 choice, so, needless to say, I was very disappointed.

It was a difficult situation to be in, at this stupid match day ceremony. Everyone gets their envelope and then there's an airhorn blown and everyone opens their envelopes at the same time. I was a little slower than most at opening mine, and my sister was yelling at me to go faster.

Everyone around me was cheering and screaming and hugging and taking pictures. As soon as I saw the name of the program, I immediately (and I mean, immediately) broke down and started sobbing. I cannot express in words the immediate sadness and dread that I felt. After sitting there for a while, I put my sunglasses on and went outside with my family.

After doing some research and digging up my stuff from my interview at UTMB, I am feeling a little bit better. It's just so far away (1200 miles, 19 hours by car, and approximately $900 for UHaul truck rental alone (not including gas, that is)). And it's five long years.

The benefits of living in Galveston include:

1. The beach! The weather averages 57 degrees in winter months and 81 degrees in summer months. Maybe I will be tan year-round, eh?

2. Solid program. Really, it is. In Texas it's known as "trauma-rama" and they get all the prisoners from the entire state of Texas (I love prisoner patients!).

3. Family in Austin and Fort Worth.

4. Two other OSU grads are going to UTMB--one in anesthesia and one in plastics--so I'll be working with them quite a bit, which should be fun.

5. No Texas state income tax.

6. Affordable, good housing close to medical center.

I will keep telling myself these things. I will also continue to tell myself that it's not permanent. I can always come back up here for my fellowship or an attending position. And who knows, maybe I'll meet some Texas hunk and become a lifer??

Counting Down the Minutes.....

So, feeling the anxiety of the upcoming match day celebration, my roommate and I planned several activities for today to take our minds of the suspense/possible agony:

Turbo Jam (ok, I did this, and she watched)
Full-body massages (my first ever--awesomeness)
Delicious dinner
$1 movie (Alvin and the Chipmunks--also awesomeness)
American Idol (finally, Amanda got kicked off)
Jenga (Nerves + wobbly table=Casey going 0/3 in this game)
Dominoes
Baking (gluten-free cupcakes and a delicious post-match Funfetti cake to be consumed tomorrow)
Movie (Radio)

Now I will attempt some sleep.

Tomorrow is the match ceremony, where we all file in at 11:30am, where they make us sit for 30 minutes while they drone on about statistics concerning where and in what OSU students matched. Then at exactly 12:00pm EST all fourth year medical students across the country will open their envelopes (insert screaming or crying here).

Afterwards, I have organized a tasty celebratory dinner at my fave restaurant (Max and Erma's, of course), for my families. I'm really excited about tortilla soup and a southern chicken salad, no tomatoes, ranch dressing on the side. Not that I've been there before or anything.

Will update again soon! I have also composed a mass email, so hopefully everyone who reads this should be on there. Thanks for the support!

9 hours
29 minutes

No Scrambling for me! :)

So, today was the day that we (meaning us med4s across the country) found out if we matched or not--we didn't find out where, just if we matched or not.

Indeed, I have matched! I do not have to scramble, which is awesome. Now the suspense and waiting begin (or continue?) as to where I shall be come July....

71 hours
20 minutes

Henry the Hexapus--for your enjoyment

Xrays from a Supernova

So, I feel like I'm just full of random useless facts today.

1. Patrick Swayze and his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer--I do feel bad about this. I've heard some conflicting reports regarding his prognosis, but in reality, pancreatic cancer is never good. I hope he had the time of his life! (is it mean to say that?)

2. Henry the Hexapus--so apparently there was this octopus in an aquarium in London, which nobody thought was anything but the ordinary. Until one day he put himself up against the glass, and the passersby counted not 8, not 7, but only 6 tentacles! Apparently when octopi lose their limbs, they grow back, but it seems that Henry had a birth defect instead. The aquarium he is at started calling him Henry due to 1. the alliteration, and 2. the fact that Henry VIII should have had eight wives, but in actuality only had six.

I am seriously considering going to London to see said hexapus. My dad said I should just look at an octopus and cover up two of the tentacles, but seriously, it's not like Henry can reproduce and make more hexapi. If there were such an animal in existence that was the only one of it's kind and would never exist again, wouldn't you want to be able to say you saw it? I would. I think this is what fourth year of medical school is all about--travelling across the world to see mystical creatures of the deep.

3. Xrays from a Supernova--My dad told me yesterday about a supernova that was discovered 8,000 light years away that is emitting xray beams. The supernova is spiral shaped and it emits these beams from the center. The issue is, no one knows when the xray beams were emitted--today, or 8,000 light years ago? Apparently as soon as they hit Earth it'll be fried. Personally, I think it would be worth it to die by XRay beams from a supernova.

Thus Starts the Waiting Game.....

So, on Wednesday night my official Rank Order List (ROL) was officially submitted. And now we wait. I have 20 more days until Match Day (March 20, but who's counting?) when I find out where I'm going.

I'm not going to lie, I'm a little freaked out. I felt good about my list and where I ranked the programs--I don't feel nervous about that. I'm just nervous about where I'll end up.

And because I'm a stupid human, I want to be where I want to be. But I would rather be where God wants me to be. And that's a hard thing to give up. And some days I don't think that. But that is where faith comes in.

So I keep thinking of Jeremiah 29:11--"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Thanks for all the nice emails! :)

Starting to wig out....but slowly finding faith

So, it's getting towards crunch time, as my residency rank list is due at 9pm on February 27. I felt pretty good about my list, then I met with one of my mentors on Tuesday, and she kind of threw my list out of wack. Ack!

Now I'm starting to freak out and get some opinions from other people who know me and know where I would like to be and know how I felt about the different programs, some objective opinions, I suppose. I am also trying to get God's opinion. Yes, that is the most important one!

The problem with this process is that you have absolutely no assurance as to anything or anywhere. Even if a program sends you a nice letter, you wonder, did they send that to everyone? It is definitely one of the most anxiety-inducing experiences I've ever had. What do I take into account--quality of the program? Location? Residents? Attendings?

I just wish I could put my faith in something, one of the programs, anything--then it occurred to me--I should be putting my faith in God! I think that might be more difficult because I am a stupid human who likes to take control and plan my future.

I was thinking and praying about this the other day, and the verse Psalm 119:105 popped into my head. I just love the idea of God's word being a "lamp" and a "light," not a flashlight or a headlight--step by step our path is illuminated. I may not know where I'm going or what's ahead of me, but as long as I walk in this little circle of enlightenment and hope and faith, I think I'll be ok. I know I'll be ok.

The Ohio State University, Columbus, Ohio, February 7, 2008

So, I was going to put up a picture of the medical center for everyone's benefit, but then I ended up forgetting, so alas, no picture. But I know what it looks like!

The city: Obviously I love Columbus. No traffic, affordable living, tolerable weather, things to do. The question I must answer is whether or not I want to stay here for 6 more years.

The program: I also think very highly of the OSU program. The program is huge (like 75 or so faculty), and the residents get great exposure to all the surgical specialities. They also do a lot of endoscopy, which is nice. The residents have a mandatory year of research/advanced degree, so the program is automatically 6 years atleast. All the attendings are super cool. And the hospitals are fantastic as well, including the James, the Ross, and Columbus Children's.

The residents: The residents at OSU are awesome. Fun, friendly, down to earth, midwest folks (I have also heard this from people not from OSU, so I'm not just biased!). They do have to pay for parking ($$) and don't get too much money for food. They also have 2 weeks off during the first year, and 4 weeks off each year after that (but you do have to take all your weeks together during second year, which stinks).

That's all I can think of to say right now. I'm so excited to be finished with interviews! Thanks to the three of you that read this.

I will soon be completing and submitting my Rank Order List, and the waiting will begin.

I think I will continue to use this blog just for fun, random thoughts, as opposed to just my travels. We'll see if I can pick up some more readers...

Almost Finished....

It's hard to believe that I have been in so many freaking airports and so many cities over the past 2.5 months. Since I started this whole shindig on November 13, I have been on 32 different plane flights. The only positive is that I have now mastered the airplane nap, as long as I don't have random people talking to me about the "Tao Theory of Sex and Longevity." Yeesh!

I only have one interview left, which is at Ohio State (aka: no traveling), and is this Thursday, February 7 (aka: miss a day of work). I'm actually pretty pumped about the interview, because I like the OSU program and I've heard that your home interview is much less stressful. Seriously, though, at this point in the game, I could be interviewing at Harvard at UCSF at the same time, and I would have about as much stress as a termite. Yeah, not sure where that came from.

In other news, I started my Surgical Intensive Care Unit rotation today. I'm trying not to judge a rotation based on the first day....because, well, to say it nicely, it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Important Dates in my Life:

February 27: Rank list due
March 8: Performing wedding ceremony
March 16: Attending second wedding ceremony
March 20: Match Day
May 24: Attending third wedding ceremony
June 5: Medical School Commencement

Let the countdown begin (or continue, rather)! :)

Maine Medical Center, Portland, Maine, January 31, 2008

The city: The city of Portland, Maine has about 60,000 people, with about 200,000 in the Greater Portland area. I had some free time to walk around the city prior to our pre-interview dinner, and my conclusion was this: Portland is a small, liberal, quirky, hippy, coastal city. It just has kind of a weird feel. It's about 2 hours from Boston, and many people fly out of Boston because it's too difficult and too expensive to fly out of Portland (the airport has a total of 8 gates). According to the residents, there are a lot of other things to do in the area, including skiing and water sports, arts, looking at lighthouses, etc. It is a moderately affordable city to live in, and has this weird rule about no alcohol in the streets (see above sign).

The residents: The Maine Med program takes 4 categorical residents per year, and they seemed pretty happy. Most are from the east coast, although there was a decent number from the midwest, actually, including one from OSU. About two-thirds are married, and 3 of the residents have kids. The residents either live in downtown Portland, South Portland, or in the suburbs. They also like seafood quite a bit.

Sidenote: When we went out to dinner the night before, the other applicant that was there (yes, there were only 2 of us at the dinner, and 3 total at the interview), got the lobster...perhaps I should have gotten the lobster since I was in freaking Maine, but it just kind of creeps me out. When it was served, I just felt like it was staring at me from across the table with those beady little eyes. Freaky. I opted for the lamb, which, in all honesty, was probably the worst lamb I have ever eaten (and I would consider myself pretty much a lamb connoisseur). Atleast I didn't have to pay for it, and the chocolate tort was amazing.

The program: So, the Maine Med program is 5 years straight through, with the option for some research along the way if the residents want it. It is a Level I trauma center (Kimberly I knew you would like this), and because of the area, they tend to get some weird traumas, including moose accidents, people getting wrapped up in lobster and fish nets, and snowmobile accidents. Interesting. It seems like Maine Med tends to train mostly general surgeons, and about 50% go on to group or private practice, and the chiefs that are going on to fellowships this year are heading into breast, endocrine, and MIS.