I don't really have much to say except today was, what I'm calling, a "bad Galveston Day," probably one of many more to come, I'm sorry to say. I'm not really sure what triggered it, except for a frustration with the length and cost of the moving process, which is really starting to freak me out.
I am also still frustrated with matching at a program that was so far down on my list. I know, I know, surgery was competitive this year, blah blah blah, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I know that in my head, but my heart still thinks it very unfair that literally everyone else I know got their #1 choice, and I, as we all know, did not.
My mom and I are going down next week to find a place and do some exploring. I hope this trip will push me toward the "excited" end of the spectrum, but I am fearful that it will go the other way and I'll come back dreading it even more.
On a more positive note, I met a transitional medicine resident at Riverside who is also heading down to UTMB for a radiation oncology residency. So atleast that will be one more person I know there (still doesn't make me feel that much better).
Sorry for the sour attitude. :( I wish I didn't feel like this, and tonight my dad said I needed to "get over it." But I think it's going to take me a while to adjust. I just feel like I've been mandated to live somewhere for 5 years that I really really really don't want to go. I know I should have faith that this is what God wants for me, but at this point I am feeling farther from Him than ever before.
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Hey Casey, thanks for posting! I followed your comment back to your blog. I'm really sorry about the whole match thing. If there's one thing I've learned from being in PNG, it's that God really does care for us and is with us through everything. I know that may not really help to hear, but I've got a lot of confidence in both you and the Lord. Stay strong. Things will turn out great!
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